Welcome to a Bill Simmons-style running diary of Game 5. Are we all witnesses? I don’t think LeBron James wants this thing to go back to Oklahoma City. Jon Barry is talking about how if the Oklahoma City Thunder win tonight, they are in the driver’s seat to go back and steal the next two and the title. I tend to agree with that. Magic is absolutely fired up, and so is the crowd. Let’s get this thing started. Let’s get started up on our Game 5 Running Diary.
Westbrook with an absolute brick, then comes back with another “I got this” jumpshot. You live with it if you’re OKC. Serge Ibaka with two blocks…already.
8:44 Stupid foul after Thabo misses the layup, Wade with a silly turnover, Ibaka gets an easy dunk. Can’t turn the ball over against this Oklahoma City team. Next possession, Durant with an absolutely gorgeous fallaway. They need about another 20 of those if they want to win this game.
6:38 Westbrook just passed the total amount of free throw attempts he had in Game 4, and he only shot 28 times and scored 43 points. And we’re not halfway through the first. With the foul on LeBron, we’re at nine fouls already. NBA refs must be jealous of all the TV time NFL refs…when they call one penalty, they get five minutes. When they call a foul, they get 0.5 seconds. Poor Tony Brothers.
4:20 Bosh with a warrior-like driving layup, followed by Ibaka getting right back at him and attacking the basket, drawing a foul. And then Bosh gets the best of Ibaka by blowing by Kendrick Perkins too fast for Ibaka to help. Miami’s made seven straight baskets. Can someone explain why Perkins gets paid $7.1 million per year? I could write a whole article about how useless he’s been this series. Relevant Tweet No.1: J.A. totally agrees with me.
2:00 Norris Cole with a great looking Will Smith retro fade. He definitely thinking he’s gonna need to look good for those championship photos tonight. Shouldn’t someone on the Heat have told him that you get a championship snapback when you win? Oh wait, D-Wade doesn’t talk to rookies.
0:21 Mike Miller didn’t have a chance. Durant with nine points, but I still don’t feel that “take-over” intensity from him. Still needs to kick it up a notch as they’re down five. Relevant Tweet No.2: If only Bill Walton were calling these Finals…
11:06 Mike Miller with two threes so far, one more than he’s had in the last eight games. Derek Fisher answers with one of his own. Why are either of them allowed to be on the floor still? Harden with an in and out. He can’t buy one.
9:08 Thunder just 38% from the field, LeBron is playing some unbelievable defense on Durant, and even Wade’s fadeaways are falling. Yet they’re only down by six. Let’s do it.
7:15 Bosh with eight on 60% shooting and the team’s highest plus-minus, and finding a knack for creating mismatches like his most recent layup over Derek Fisher. Relevant Tweet No.3: None from Shaq, who must be eating his “Big Two” comments right now.
5:50 A block from Bosh on what was supposed to be a wide-open dunk for Perkins (more useless by the minute), and then he makes another 10-footer. He’s the second best player on Miami right now. Yup. If he hadn’t come back, Oklahoma City would be running Boston off the floor right now. Relevant Tweet No.4: Even Bill agrees.
5:35 The poor officiating continues…Wade picks up a foul for literally diving on the ground. Maybe it’s karma for 2006.
3:50 Mike Miller is 4-for-4 from downtown…and four fouls. If you’re Scott Brooks, your game plan probably revolved around him sucking, again. Not sure what I’d do if I were him.
2:12 Wesbrook just passed to Durant. Read that again. By the way, Durant made the three.
0:58 LeBron showing his post prowess with a pretty turnaround on Durant, while Durant comes back with a pretty banker of his own. Relevant Tweet No.5: Magic is loving his rivalry. Must remind him of those 80’s Lakers-C’s matchups.
OKC is just down 10, and Durant is starting to call for the ball. Should be an interesting second half.
11:37 Durant starts off with a three. If this were a closer game, Mike Breen would have given us one of his classics: “Puts it up, PUTS IT IN!”
10:07 OKC looking like they’re building momentum, and almost stopped LeBron’s drive…but Chalmers makes a three. Potentially big posession. And Battier gets another one. LeBron is on pace for a 30-10-10, but their bench should get just as much credit for this one if they win.
7:30 Durant heating up, he has 21 on 9 of 17 shooting. Kendrick Perkins’ first good play of the game: a pick that helps Durant get open, while chippiness ensures with Durant and Chalmers. Jeff Van Gundy on the shove: “That’s a whole lotta nothin’ right there!”. Is JVG secretly a hockey fan? The game isn’t a slugfest like it was in the ’90’s, Jeff.
4:46 Okay, maybe LeBron wouldn’t be that great of a tight end for the Cleveland Browns. Any NFL tight end would have broken Derek Fisher, although he’s a strong guy in his own right. JVG once again, is going crazy cause it’s a flagrant.
3:20 Bosh makes a three, LeBron blocks a sure-fire layup by Westbrook, and Ibaka is called for an offensive foul, Mike Miller is now 5-for-5 from three. Oh boy. This crowd is going crazy. As crazy as a chic-big city celebrity-laden fanbase can get. Is 2012, year that the world might end, going to be earmarked by two of the biggest bandwagon fanbases winning titles? Oh well.
0:40 Miller’s even making free throws, and now we’re just seeing some desperation threes from Oklahoma. Awful offense, worst collapse I’ve seen since the Lakers against the Celtics in ’08. When will the bench come in? Relevant Tweet No.6: What about Juwan Howard? Put me in, Spo!
PS: When did Vonta Leach start becoming our new resident clever tweeter? It’s okay, Dan Gilbert. It’s okay, Cleveland. At least you guys have Trent Richardson.
11:39 Mike Miller for Finals MVP. I wrote that when he hit his sixth three. He just hit another at 10:50. Most three’s made in Finals history.
9:30 Ibaka and Perkins look like they might just kill themselves. Perkins looks like he’s smelling dog crap more than usual. OKC’s looking way too lifeless right now. Relevant Tweet No. 7: Skip Bayless must have stolen Jay Crawford’s iPad.
6:16 Did we just see the Ghost of Harden’s past? He just hit a three. Hard to believe everyone kept talking about this guy as one of the best weapons in the playoffs. Does he even get consideration for the Olympic squad now? Meanwhile, Mike Miller just missed. What?
4:49 LeBron with a triple-double 23/13/10. Congrats, Finals MVP. I wonder what would have been more annoying; hearing about how LeBron choked if he lost again, or the premature GOAT discussions we’re going to hear.
3:01 Bench mob in. Crazy ovation. LeBron is out. Why are they still playing? Nobody wants to see Royal Ivey play. Will we see something like a KG “Anythang is possible?” Or a Steve Young “Take the monkey off my back?” Not from LeBron. From 39 year old Juwan Howard, I mean.
LeBron just hugging everyone. He effing deserves it. He’s so happy he’s showing his hairline in public. Final Relevant Tweet of the Night: From the always classy J.A.